Quiet time in 2017 seems to get interrupted by two things: sitting next to your partner reading the news of the day and one of you ejaculating1 either
- “Oh my God!” Which precedes the description of yet another outrage by Trump, his family or his collection of cartoon administrators, or
- “Oh no.” Which precedes the disclosure of another death or ailment of someone dear.
I suppose we should be thankful that the “Oh my Gods” are outnumbering the “Oh noes,” but it’s a hard way to live, ya know? The first thing I do upon waking each morning is check my iPad for overnight news alerts, hoping there are none. They’re bound to come through the day (like today’s alert that employers are largely off the hook for including birth control in their health insurance packages. Why? FuckifIknow. It’s certainly not because Trump is a prude or a typical sex-fearing evangelical, maybe just another case of undo-what-the-black-man-did, is my best guess), so it’s a relief when the screen is blessedly blank before my first coffee. Someone remind me why health care (via insurance) is linked to employment again, because that is some stupid shit right there. Oh, and while we’re at it, how come dental care is not health care when it comes to insurance?2
But back to the “Oh my God” that prompted me to write this. Last night, after dining with many senior members of the military (and their plus-ones, who must have had fantastic feelings of ambivalence about being invited to the White House, but this White House), Trump, in a photo op, commented that this was the calm before the storm, and when asked by the press what he meant, replied, “You’ll see.” Presidenting by reality show rules, ain’t it grand? And it makes for an awesome night’s sleep, let me tell you. Will we bomb North Korea? Invade Mali? You’ll see. Tune in tomorrow.
1 I am trying to rehabilitate this verb to include definition number two in common conversation again.
2 I know the historical reasons for this, I just want to know who thinks they still make sense in the 21st century.
I believe in your skills around changing the uses of ejaculation.
It will be hard, but I think I can pull it off.
A storm of indictments, followed by President Pence and people looking back fondly at “crazy like a fox” Donald, who only played like a religious zealot for cash and ratings.
If a storm of indictments occurs—something I’ve begun to think might be a big case of wishful thinking—then I’m thinking Mike “Earnest Face” Pence will be caught up in them. Just keep going down the list. President Hatch, perhaps? Mattis?
Generals typically make bad Presidents, but I kind of like the idea of President “Mad Dog”, truth be told. Doubt they’ll go that far. But, you make a good point. Still, I’d point out the White House doesn’t have any Scooter Libbys this time around.